Lost.
A part of me is gone and for a while now I’ve been dying. Only slowly because my heart holds on to the memory that was only 11 months ago. He was the father I never had & even tho he was my Great Grandfather, he was more of a friend. Our age was separated by time but through a bond he was a brother. July 22nd of 2011, just 3 days after my birthday that cold day suffocated me painfully. Now yes, its 2012 I have gotten better but now Im even more lost. The bed I sleep in is his, the car I drive is his, so basically he’s always there. Even sometimes in my dreams but the fact I cant see is killing me. The solider who taught me how to survive, the warrior who always won the battle was the one I envy. My soul haunts my body waking me up to eternal light while my thoughts of sleep never occur. My voice is spoken loud but the words are quiet. I laugh with a smile because the pain is that deep. I find myself lost looking for guidance, cause I wonder if God heres me. I cant be foolish because it was his time to go. Ima be 20 soon, july 19th and he would be proud. Since Im the man now, I keep the household in tact. Only because of my ignorance I want to be a child but since I carry the tools, I will build a future. I will be on toward others with love and peace with a gesture of heart. I will rise over adversity and conquer my fears. I shall be the father I never had, I will and must be the future to the legacy.